Paddy got bit at school last week. Not by a stray dog on the playground or by a red ant who was having a bad day, but rather by another toddler. Sounds pretty strange, right? Maybe not to those of you who've had lots of kid experience, but to someone like me who is learning things as she goes, it's weird and bordering on cannibalism. But I've now learned that it's quite a common occurrence at this age. Paddy's never done it, but then again, Paddy is perfect.
Now, by law, daycare is not allowed to tell me who actually bit P for fear that I will seek retribution by slipping The Biter an ex-lax cookie, keying his mother's car or grabbing him by the hair as he toddles past me during the morning drop-off in a rush to steal a toy from one of his other victims. But Paddy told me who did it. Not that he had to. I knew exactly who to blame. I've seen this kid in action, and I've not liked what I've seen.
I thought it probably wasn't that traumatic of an experience for P because he hadn't mentioned it again over the weekend, but this week he has talked about it. A lot. You see, on our drives to school, while P munches on a multi-grain waffle and gives me the morning traffic report, "Red car! Big truck! Long bus! Train going down the hiiiiiill!" we usually chat about who he will see that day. And per usual, each morning this past week we named off his buddies: Clara, Ian, Sydney, Stephen, Elizabeth, Willie . . . and each morning when we got to The Biter's name, Paddy said, "Edmond*. Edmond eat me."
And each time I heard those words my Mama Bear instinct kicked in (NO ONE EATS MY KIDDO!) and I said in a firm Mama Bear voice, "You tell Edmond, 'No bite!' if he tries to hurt you, Paddy. Do you understand?"
And he repeats back to me, shaking his finger, "Edmond! No bite!"
Since this Mama Bear has to work 4 out of 5 weekdays and can't continually shelter her cub in his den as she would like to, I'm hoping that Paddy will be able to lay down the law with The Biter next time he tries anything. I'll keep you posted.
*The Biter's real name has been changed for his own protection. Paddy's got three feisty grandmas who would not think twice about opening a can of whoop ass on anyone who looked cross-eyed at their grandson.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Edmond eat me
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4 comments:
So if your kid bites he isn't perfect? Maybe the problem is that Paddy is a push over and keeps all his emotions inside. And really the biters are the perfect ones.
Here is what I signed last night: "Finn was playing outside on a car when another child came over, pushed him and tried to take it from him, that is when Finn bit him on the eye."
My first question was "how do you bite someone on the eye?"
My first comment, "At least he was provoked this time and didn't bit for no reason at all."
Ummm - forgive the reference - but you need to grow your son some balls and teach him to deck "Edmund" the next time he gets close.
When I was little and picked on by a playground bully (yes, I was picked on) my mom told me to sit on him. I did it and it resulted in the kid crying his eyes out. Mission accomplished! :-)
Here is my next thought. Maybe your son IS being picked on and probably for that giant fluff of girly-man hair that is emerging from the back of his head. So do the poor kid a favor and have it snipped. You could save it in an envelope for all time and eternity and can pull it out and run your fingers through it at any time.
Until then no more business in the front party in the back jokes about Paul's neighbor :-)
Ha ha. I'm glad you told me to read Weston's comment.
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