Holtywood: PaddyTube: Actually, LucyTube

P.S.: That yellowish spot on her jammies is not excrement. It's butternut squash.

WTF is Holtywood?

Holtywood is a one-house district in Salt Lake City where a control freak mama (me) is trying to figure out how to raise two kiddos into semi-decent humans, not drive a nerd-a-rific husband to drink and keep the genetically defunct canines from destroying the couch.

This is a chronicle of my ongoing struggle to not be – in the words of my fiery redheaded aunt – "the fuck-up family". It's not a craft, design, fashion, food or inspiration blog. It's just a personal account of what happens on any given day in the chaos, frustration and end-of-day fulfillment of family life. Maybe you can relate, maybe you can't, but hopefully you will come away with a hint of a smile and thanking your lucky stars that you don't have to live here. That's all I'm really going for.

What Milo the Mutt is eating (besides his own poop):

11/29 - Piece of styrofoam
8/12 - Patrick's fingernail clippings
3/14 - Maui's toenail clippings
3/7 - Cupcake liner
10/25 - Bunion cushion
10/13 - Another diaper
10/9 - Electric blue sidewalk chalk
3/6 - Instructional sticker
2/5 - Top quarter of a wicker waste basket
2/1 - Dustpan sweepings
11/18 - A diaper
10/5 - The letter "C"
9/26 - The letter "L"
9/13 - Purple and green "jumbo" crayons
9/8 - Orange glitter crayon
7/26 - The butcher; Of the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker
6/5 - Noodles & Co. beef stroganoff (off of our dining room table)
6/1 - Cough drop
5/18 - Paper towel
5/14 - Playground bark chips
5/13 - Pieces of newspaper (fed to him by Patrick)
5/4 - Grass
4/22 - A moth
4/17 - The sawdust from our new cedar fence
4/16 - The fortune from Matt's fortune cookie
4/7 - Salad tongs
4/1 - A goldfish magnet
3/30 - Half of Patrick's squirting bath-time fish
3/25 - A chunk of plaster
3/22 - A pair of earplugs
3/20 - Maui's poop

Saturday, November 5, 2011

PaddyTube: Actually, LucyTube

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